March 2010
You: Hey baby, can I buy you a drink?
Her: Sorry, I have a boyfriend.
You: Really? I have a goldfish.
Her: What?
You: Oh sorry, I thought we were talking about shit that doesn't matter.
“Kissing Lady Gaga was like kissing any beautiful woman you feel a connection...”
– Heather Cassils (via minor-arcana)
“I am a kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me...”
– J. D. Salinger
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the world is lazy, but you and me, we're just... →
